As we continue striving everyday to be unified in a marital union, business partnership, church family, community, etc, we face opposition in order to do so. I believe the majority of the opposition is internally formulated within each individual, because we have different belief systems and mindsets. Some of these things are merely learned behavior from our culture and upbringings. In that case, we cannot make a claim of whose is right or wrong. Often times in any type of relationship we become frustrated when someone does not share the same mindset we have adopted. I believe one of the fallacies in a relationship is that we compromise and think we have the option of just getting out when we start “feeling” different about the person whom we have developed this relation. I refer to this as the “either/or” mindset. With that type of mindset everything is based on conditions of the situation, and it always gives the option of retreating. Make no mistake there will always be disagreements in relationships, however if our mindset is stuck in “either/or” it is less likely to hear a sound resolution that would cause the relation to move beyond its barriers. For example, my wife (Dee) and I disagree on many things but come to the realization that at the end of the day, we only have each other. Quitting is not option or something I told my wife some time ago, “I ain’t going nowhere!” She can leave but I’m going with her. I believe once you have that mindset, you began to embrace your disagreements and utilize them for strength instead of a weakness. That sounded wonderful to me as I typed it out, but I can honestly tell you during some of those disagreements, we both were probably thinking about other options. Don’t act shocked because I believe it has become a natural reaction to think about other options when things are not going in your favor. Again it’s a learned behavior and when it is taken out of its proper context it can lead to further disappointments. The bible tells us not to conform to the world way of thinking but renew our mindset to kingdom thinking. In order to get out of the “either/or” mindset it does require a complete change of mind. Romans 12:2 The world has spoiled us with options. Unfortunately, we have happily adopted them into our personal belief system. I have been taught by high-level business professors to always have an exit strategy. I have had the privilege of speaking with some very successful business minds and they have shared how they run several businesses, and for each one they have a strategy, as to when they will walk away or “cash out.” I believe we have subconsciously adopted these strategies and they have subtly crept into our personal affairs of life. I read somewhere that after seven years of marriage if things are not working out you can just legally walk away without any repercussions. When you are presenting a business plan to a financial institution or an investor in aspirations of obtaining financial assistance, they want to know how they will get their money if your venture does not succeed. Bottom line there should not be a contingency plan, evacuation plan, or emergency exits in marriages, unless domestic violence is present. Its time to dismiss our “either/or” mindset and come into a higher realm of thinking unified in spite of our disagreements, disapproval, and judgmental stances. I believe doing so will build unity in our respective homes and become infectious to build communities. Some of the details laid out here echo sentiments from our radio broadcasts, “Let’s Talk About Marriage & Divorce”. We encourage you to visit our Media page and listen to our broadcast, so you can become empowered in areas of your relationships, especially marriage.
