Talk to Me…Please! This is a phrase we often hear in relationships of all kind such as; a parent/child, employee/employer, husband/wife, etc. For the purpose of this article, the focal point will be on the marital aspect of a relationship. I will take the liberty by saying this phrase often comes from the wife. Personally, I have heard my wife say this more times that I would like, simply because it made me uncomfortable in regards to what to say. I believe, men, as a whole have a difficult time with communicating with our spouses primarily because we do not know how to be effective communicators. Talking to my wife about how many points somebody scored in the game last night is OK, but not as stimulating as having intercourse. I have come to realize that effective communication with my wife is a form of intercourse. However, this type of intercourse is a learning process. When I commune with her about heart my issues or how I feel, that is what she is referring to when she says, “Talk to me… Please! Honestly, this causes much frustration in our relationship because often times I do not know what’s on my heart talk about, and sometimes it’s nothing at all. Men, this where the work comes in, because we have to dig into those dark places that we have subconsciously buried for no one to see again, even ourselves. Women need to know at all times they have our whole hearts because that’s the part they fell in love with. When they do not feel they have that, it leaves them feeling unsafe and/or alone. The time within our marriage when I was involved in an emotional soul tie with another woman, my heart was gone. My wife knew it even before I recognized what was going on in me. Once I understood, I came to a deeper comprehension of the word “cheating.” My wife was being cheated out of the most important part of me - my heart. She had my body but my heart was far from home. Needless to say, our relationship took a serious setback. Well that’s a longer story. The guidelines of this article cannot accommodate it all. Now, Talk to me…Please does go both ways because often times our women will shut down for whatever reason and we need them to share in order for us to attempt to make things better. For the most part men, I believe we need our women to talk to us for a different reason other than sharing their hearts. Not to say, that part is not important, but it is not primary. Primarily, we need our women to attempt to communicate how to actually understand some of own their complexities. Let’s face it our women are complex and we need some help from time to time to get through the rough terrain. Unfortunately, sometimes our women do not know as well what is going on with them at times. Let’s face it they expect us to help them through with our limited ESP skills. This communication thing will continue to be one our biggest challenges in all areas of our lives, but we have to make sure that we do the best we can and be conscious to put greater efforts in this area. As a man, I encourage you to join us at our monthly marriage empowerment seminars, open to everyone: married, single, divorced, separated, and widowed. Register today! Go to our Events Calendar and register to attend our monthly Marriage Healing & Empowerment Seminar. Your marriage and relationship requires dunamis power. For more information or to schedule a premarital or marriage counseling session, call our office at 708.331.2880. Don’t forget to tune in to our radio broadcast, “Let’s Talk About Marriage & Divorce” every Thursday from 1:00 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. on WYCA Rejoice 102.3 fm. LISTEN LIVE ONLINE: www.wyca1023.com.
